We often think of leadership in terms of major decisions, difficult conversations, and the moments when we are called upon to guide others through challenges. But I believe some of our most important opportunities to lead happen in the smallest interactions.
A brief conversation. A moment of patience. An unexpected act of kindness.
These encounters may seem insignificant at the time, but their impact can last much longer than we realize.
I often use a simple phrase to remind myself of this responsibility: Every encounter, every time.
Every interaction is an opportunity to build trust, demonstrate empathy, and make someone feel valued. It is also an opportunity to do the opposite, sometimes without even recognizing the effect we have had.
In a recent episode of Reframing with Empower Tomorrow, my co-host BA White shared an experience that beautifully illustrated this idea.
A Simple Encounter That Made a Lasting Impression
BA was traveling during a particularly challenging period of flight delays, cancellations, and uncertainty. Like many travelers, she was dealing with circumstances outside her control.
Throughout the experience, airline notifications provided updates about what was happening. But receiving information did not necessarily bring reassurance. In some cases, the updates created even more questions.
Then she encountered a flight attendant named Robert.
When BA mentioned that her seatback television wasn't working, Robert could have simply apologized and moved on. It was a relatively minor inconvenience during an already complicated travel situation.
Instead, he took the time to help. He attempted to resolve the issue and ultimately found a better seating arrangement that allowed BA to sit beside her husband.
What stood out was not simply that Robert solved a problem. It was the way he approached the interaction.
When I asked BA how the experience made her feel, her answer was powerful:
“He made me feel like I mattered.”
Those words capture something fundamental about emotional intelligence and leadership.
People may not remember every detail of what we say or do, but they often remember how we made them feel.
Emotional Intelligence Is About Awareness, Not Perfection
Emotional intelligence is sometimes misunderstood as the ability to remain calm, cheerful, and positive regardless of the circumstances.
That is not what I believe it means.
We all experience difficult days. We face frustration, disappointment, stress, and personal challenges. There is nothing inherently wrong with acknowledging those feelings.
The important distinction is recognizing that our emotions do not eliminate our responsibility for how we treat others.
Just because something difficult is happening in my life does not mean I have the right to behave in a way that negatively affects the people around me.
This requires both self-awareness and humility.
Self-awareness helps us recognize what we are feeling and how those emotions may influence our behavior. Humility reminds us that other people are navigating their own experiences, challenges, and emotions, too.
As leaders, we have an additional responsibility to consider how our behavior influences the people who look to us for direction, reassurance, and support.
We do not need to pretend that everything is fine. But we do need to be intentional about how we respond.
The Power of Emotional Contagion
One of the concepts BA and I explored during our conversation was emotional contagion—the way emotions and behaviors can influence the people around us.
Think about a workplace where the leader enters every meeting visibly frustrated, impatient, or dismissive.
Even without saying much, that person's behavior can influence the atmosphere. Others may become hesitant to speak, less willing to ask questions, or more anxious about making mistakes.
Now consider the opposite.
A leader who acknowledges a difficult situation, communicates clearly, and treats others with respect can help create an environment where people feel more secure and supported.
The circumstances may not change immediately, but the experience of those circumstances can.
BA's flight experience provided a meaningful example.
The flight crew could not eliminate the weather disruptions or every inconvenience passengers were experiencing. What they could influence was how they communicated, responded, and interacted with the people in their care.
They chose transparency, patience, and a willingness to help.
That approach had an impact.
The emotional tone we bring into a situation can become part of the experience everyone else has.
This is why emotional intelligence matters not only in formal leadership positions but in every role where we interact with others.
Why Transparency Builds Trust
Another important part of BA's story involved communication.
Throughout her travel experience, technology provided updates about delays and changing circumstances. The information was available, but it did not always provide the understanding or reassurance passengers needed.
When a flight attendant explained what was happening, the experience felt different.
The information itself may not have changed significantly. What changed was the human connection surrounding it.
I find this particularly relevant as artificial intelligence and other technologies become increasingly integrated into our professional and personal lives.
Technology can improve efficiency, provide access to information, and support better decisions. These are valuable contributions.
But information alone does not always create understanding.
Sometimes people need the opportunity to ask questions, express concerns, and hear an explanation from another person.
This is especially important during uncertainty.
When leaders do not communicate, people often fill the gaps with their own assumptions. Those assumptions may lead to confusion, unnecessary worry, or speculation.
Transparency does not mean we must have every answer. It means being willing to communicate what we know, acknowledge what we do not know, and treat others with enough respect to keep them informed.
Trust is strengthened when people feel included rather than left to interpret silence.
Small Acts of Empathy Can Create Meaningful Change
One of the most encouraging aspects of BA's story is how little it took to make such a meaningful difference.
Robert did not need an elaborate leadership strategy or a formal position of authority to demonstrate empathy.
He noticed an opportunity to help someone and acted on it.
We encounter similar opportunities every day.
A colleague may seem unusually quiet. A team member may be struggling with a challenging assignment. A customer may be frustrated by a situation they do not understand.
In those moments, we have choices.
We can remain focused entirely on our own responsibilities, or we can take a moment to recognize the person in front of us.
Sometimes that recognition is as simple as asking, “Are you okay?” or “Can I help?”
We may never know the full impact of those words.
But we should not underestimate their importance.
In fact, BA was so moved by her experience that she wrote a letter of commendation recognizing Robert's efforts.
An interaction that could have been forgotten became an opportunity to acknowledge someone who made a positive difference.
Leadership Happens in Every Encounter
When we think about developing stronger leadership skills, we often focus on communication strategies, decision-making, organizational performance, and professional growth.
Those are all important.
But I would encourage leaders to consider another question:
How do people experience us in the ordinary moments of the day?
Not just during a formal presentation or a carefully planned conversation, but when something goes wrong, when we are tired, when someone interrupts us, or when we are dealing with circumstances beyond our control.
Those moments reveal a great deal about how we lead.
Emotional intelligence does not require perfection. It requires a willingness to recognize our impact, reflect on our behavior, and make more intentional choices.
It asks us to remember that every person we encounter has their own experiences, concerns, and needs.
And it reminds us that a small interaction can become a lasting memory for someone else.
A Challenge to Reframe Your Next Encounter
As you move through your day, I encourage you to consider the following:
How am I showing up for the people around me?
Am I allowing my own frustrations to influence how I treat others?
When someone needs help or reassurance, do I take the time to recognize it?
Am I communicating in a way that builds understanding and trust?
What can I do today to make someone feel that they matter?
These questions are not meant to create another standard of perfection.
They are invitations to become more aware of the opportunities we have to make a difference.
We may not always recognize the impact of our actions, and we may never hear how a particular encounter influenced someone else's day.
But that does not make those encounters any less important.
Every encounter, every time.
It is a simple reminder that leadership is not limited to the decisions we make or the titles we hold. It is reflected in how we treat people, particularly when doing so requires patience, empathy, and intentional effort.
And sometimes, the most meaningful thing we can do is make another person feel that they matter.
Continue the Conversation
In Episode 3 of Reframing with Empower Tomorrow, Every Encounter Matters: The Power of Emotional Intelligence in Leadership, BA White and I explore the role of empathy, emotional contagion, transparency, and human connection in our everyday interactions.
Click here to watch the full conversation.
Watch. Listen. Think. Reframe.